


Nights

by giantpanda



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 19:30:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4847570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the quote: "I miss you the most at night.  When everything is quiet and the silence reminds me that I'm not sleeping next to you" Author Unknown.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nights

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to mrstater for always reading over what I write. I greatly appreciate it!

Natasha never slept well. She never understood the people who needed hours of sleep to function. She was lucky if she slept for a few hours at night. It was worse now. She thought about him every night. Where he was, what he was doing, if he was safe, if it was all her fault.

She thinks about kissing him. Thinks about the look in his eyes as she pushed him over the edge. Thinks about the look in the Other Guys’ eyes as he turned off their communication. Why had he left? Was it all because of her?

She couldn’t name the feeling that overtook her at night. An uncomfortable feeling settled in her stomach as soon as she crawled into bed. A burning sensation in her eyes. It was new. She didn’t like it, wanted it all to go away. But didn’t know how.

During the day it was different, she kept busy. Worked with the new recruits, worked with Steve and sometimes Tony to build up the Avengers. Yet, someone was missing. She could ignore it during the day. The hole in their group. He never thought he belonged with them. Yet, they all felt his absence. The Others Guy’s strength wasn’t what made him part of the team. He was brilliant and funny. His presence balanced out Tony. She pushed it all aside to train harder, to work harder.

But at night when everything was quiet, she could no longer ignore his absence. The silence reminds her that they missed their window. That she might never get what she wanted. With a sigh, she pushes the covers away. No point in staying in bed thinking.

She grabs her laptop and continues her search. Somewhere someone has seen him. She will continue searching for him, looking to find him. To bring him home. Maybe then she will no longer have this unsettled feeling in her body.

\----

Bruce can’t remember the last time that he had slept for more than a few hours at a time. Even before his accident, he had trouble shutting down the thoughts in his mind to be able to rest. Too much to do and never enough time. It is worse now. Now along with his thoughts, he has the other guy’s as well. All the damage he has done, all the people he has hurt or killed. He sees them all when he closes his eyes.

The worst is the last image he has of her. The look in her eyes as the other guy turned off their communication. It was the first time he ever agreed with his actions. The first time he felt that they were working as one. He needed to leave the team. He could not be part of them because he would do nothing but continue to bring them pain. He destroyed everything that he touched. It was only a matter of time before he destroyed her as well. Before he hurt her or did something even worse.

He has given up trying to force sleep. He no longer climbs into bed and searches for sleep; instead he lets it overcome him wherever it can. A few minutes here and there, if he’s lucky maybe even a few hours. Exhaustion and regret are his two constant companions. At night however, when everything is silent he thinks of nothing but her.

He remembers the way her lips felt against his. Understands why she pushed him, needed the other guy more than she needed him. Allows himself the briefest moments of what if. What if he had stayed. What if they hadn’t missed their window. What if… it haunts him most at night.

He pulls out his laptop, his one concession to the world he has left behind. He checks up on them. Needing to know that they are safe. He types her name and holds his breath hoping that she is okay. He will stay away forever as long as she remains safe.


End file.
